Obesity is more than a number on a scale — it’s something you live with every day. It becomes your identity, your shadow, and it carries a heavy burden of shame and guilt.
For many, weight-loss surgery is the start of a new life. But it’s not just the physical transformation that takes place — it’s an emotional journey, one that brings both relief and unexpected challenges.
The Emotional Struggle of Obesity
These are just a few of the thoughts that often consume an obese person’s mind:
- Looking in the mirror and barely recognizing yourself.
- Crying over how far things have gone.
- Disappointing your children when you’re too tired to play.
- Dreading the pain of simply standing up in the morning.
- Avoiding public places for fear of judgment.
- Hiding behind stretchy pants and slip-on shoes.
- Anxiously grocery shopping at night to avoid being seen.
- Suffering from the embarrassment of not fitting into a plane seat.
- Losing touch with your identity and feeling invisible.
This is the reality many face every day. But there is hope — and life on the other side of surgery can be transformative.
Life After Weight-Loss Surgery
After my surgery, my world changed. I no longer suffer from the physical co-morbidities that once held me back. I can walk, run, and even ride a bike with my children. My depression lifted, and my energy soared.
But the biggest change wasn’t just physical. It was realizing that unless someone has lived this journey, they can’t fully understand the experience of obesity. That’s why I dedicated my career to counseling others on the same path — to give them the voice and understanding they deserve.
Major Life Changes You May Experience
- Career improvements
- Stronger personal relationships
- Shifts in marriage dynamics
- Changes in friendships
- Growth in spirituality
These shifts aren’t always easy, but they are part of the process of reclaiming your life.
Weight-Loss Surgery Is Not the Easy Way Out
Contrary to popular belief, surgery is not an easy solution. It requires courage to take the first step, and even more courage to live with the changes that come after.
We obsess over the possibility of a healthier life. We dream about it. We anxiously await the insurance approval letter. And when it finally arrives, excitement is quickly followed by fear.
Living as a post-weight-loss surgery patient is not simple — but it’s worth it.
Fear of the Unknown: Taking Baby Steps
Even when we long for change, it’s natural to fear it. After surgery, it’s common to have moments of doubt and wonder, “Why did I do this?” These feelings usually pass, but they are part of the emotional adjustment.
We must also learn to accept the “new you.” Reaching your goal weight can feel surreal — looking in the mirror and not recognizing the thin person staring back. It’s a vulnerable feeling, being seen after years of trying to blend in.
This journey requires baby steps:
- Learning to eat smaller portions
- Chewing food thoroughly
- Avoiding high-sugar and fatty foods
- Adjusting to a new relationship with food
Food is no longer a friend or comfort — it’s fuel. We no longer live to eat; we eat to live.
My Story
I stood 5’4″ and weighed 285 pounds. I tried every diet and exercise program, but nothing brought lasting success. Depression and physical pain consumed my life.
As a psychotherapist, it was humbling to realize I needed help. But taking control changed everything. After gastric bypass surgery, I lost 160 pounds and went from a size 24 to a 4/6.
I finally began living, not just existing.
The Toolbox for Success
Weight-loss surgery is a powerful tool — but only if used properly. Success comes from consistently using the tool with intention and care.
Here are seven steps that helped me and many of my patients:
- Follow Your Doctor’s Orders
Stick to dietary recommendations and prioritize rest and recovery. - Journal Your Journey
Track what you eat and how you feel to better understand your relationship with food. - Set Realistic Goals
Focus on achievable milestones like walking longer distances or getting off medications. - Reflect on Your ‘Why’
Remember the moment you decided to change — it keeps you grounded. - Document Your Progress
Take pictures, measurements, and keep old clothing to see how far you’ve come. - Seek Support
Don’t go it alone. Support groups, family, friends, and professional counseling make a huge difference. - Live Life to the Fullest
You deserve happiness, health, and the freedom to enjoy every moment.
Mourning Food: Coping with ‘Food Grief’
After surgery, it’s normal to grieve the role food once played — as comfort, celebration, or reward. Without food as a crutch, we must find new passions and healthy coping mechanisms. Support groups and new hobbies can be lifesavers.
About the Author
Lynne Routsong-Wiechers, MSW, LISW, is a bariatric psychotherapist based in Dayton, Ohio. After undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 2003, she dedicated her practice to helping gastric bypass and obesity patients navigate their emotional journeys. Lynne provides consultation to medical professionals and speaks publicly on the topic of obesity and weight-loss surgery.
This post is supported by the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC), a national nonprofit dedicated to elevating conversations about weight and health, improving access to obesity care, and eliminating weight bias and discrimination.
👉 Join the OAC Community for education, support, and advocacy at obesityaction.org/join.